I’m never sure how people feel about me. That being said I’m never quite sure when to give up.
When to put pins in and save for later, when they are ready. But, I know, I can only be young and impetuous for so long.
I have been bad. I have displeased Him. I’m mad at myself I really did just forget. My pussy aches akin to blue balls. I used to get this after sex dreams when I was younger, I kind of liked it. Not now, its mixed with shame.
It wasn’t intentional it was just because it was text. I gave Him ideas on how to punish me. I hope He does, I really like Him.
He knows I want Him. He calls me His with confidence. It’s not faked and it’s not arrogance that makes Him do this. I feel like He can read my thoughts and as much as I love or have loved everyone in my “cast list” (remember, a good deal of those are exes I’ll randomly talk about.) I know I’ll love Him just that little bit extra. Because He will be my second serious collar.
Or would it be my first? I’ll have to ask.
All I can do is hope for the best, and hope I can arrange some playtime before I have to go to visit my in laws in Seattle. (Can you see the joy?) To bring home Canary, hopefully for good.
I’ve just been so frazzled lately. My family shrunk, I lost friends over stupid things. I’m hoping they come round over time, we shall see. I’ve been selfish in doing things for myself lately and I’ve been enjoying this. Paulo pointed out if I want five lovers why not have them, as long as all parties involved know I’m fine. I only have myself to please.
I’m not sure if I want quite so many just the one I have in mind.
…and Him.
This is me waiting…