Way easier than admitting part of me still loved Simirae and that even more of me wanted to fuck Babykat raw because I STILL love her. It’s better that I still do. Admitting that is hard, but vital to actually moving on. I want to call myself Babykat sometimes to wrap myself in that name. Sometimes I think if I do I will find peace. To feel safe like when I was with her.

But fuck it. It’s my blog it’s my cunt and if they like it so much let’s see some effort. So far all I’ve gotten is “I can’ts” and it’s sort of really pissing me off. I would break a law for love if I had something like this.

I’ve also promised myself more sexual adventures, with that comes the better blogging. (I hope) I’m still struggling with identity. Now, I have reached this point where I want to write more hardcore erotica (I think)

I do not however want to give up the urban fantasy and steampunk genres. I am thinking of pulling an Ian Banks move. Similar names and fully promoting both (TDG would be my classy smut home iwanna would be dirrrrty) I’m not totally sure yet. It seems silly to be worrying about this, but it’s better than obsessing about everything else.

Just write…

It’s what I do best after all.
Perhaps I should free myself for awhile to write and see if I like anything first. Before I worry about the hows and actually publishing anything. I need to calm down and just do what needs to be done before I clam up and get stuck in “what if” doubty mode. Just…write..
As someone who is an online Domme I’m constantly surprised that stuff STILL comes up. I’ve been doing this for a few years. It seems like this should be old hat and a total duh. Still if you’re a newbie read this How To Approach an Online Domme

(It is required reading now.)

I enjoy my work but I’d enjoy it a lot more if some boys exercised common sense when contacting and dealing with me. I love the boys that do. Like Mr. Grayson, he’s a good boy. Speaking of…

Lately I’ve been contemplating a multitude of things.

1. What should I do for my next Erotic Hypnosis MP3? Please leave suggestions in the comments.
2. Does Mr. Grayson actually want to…and what would be the nature of our relationship?
3. Could I live my dreams and what are they exactly?

I’ve thought about doing some non sexual guided meditation like MP3s. Like this awesome one by my heroine Otep!

She’s an influence on my work. I’d consider it amazing to create poems like hers. (But, you know funny. My spoken word erotica is great but I’d like to be funny too!) Lets see how well and balance both.

I think its interesting that most other Dommes set themselves up as Princesses or Goddesses, me I’m more of a slut priestess. Marie Laveau and Courtney Love are great heroines as well. Mother figures I would think.

I have nothing but fond memories of the last six years of my life have been some of my best. I’ve wrote three books, and had my first poly relationship begin and end. I’ve come close to finally having a “wife.” I’ve had some great times with friends. I’m deeply homesick.

As I come back into focus on this blog, I hope to feature more writing about my sex life. After all this did start off as a sex blog. I will leave most of my chatter about Niteflirt at fkmuse. Plus, I’ve learned I like talking about my sex life. The reason I “stopped” was I was being read by a cast member. I didn’t want to say something hurtful. I’m not quite sure how to get around this…yet.

I could ask them to stop but, I’ve learned that only leads to a desperate to read what I’ve written. Whatever my answer is I hope it comes to me quickly. I want to go on more adventures and be able to share them with you.

Wait til you get to see it! I’m so proud.It’s been a wild ride these last two years but, for the first time I can honestly say I’m in a better place. I’m happy. I’m a Goddess found. Judas is really responsible, he’s good at fixing things.This quote embodies us.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
~Lao Tzu

A great and wonderful thing has happened dear readers. I’ve gotten my first erotic book review for Strung +Choking I’m so excited!
The man who wrote it rocks my socks too. He’s live tweeted me a few pieces of Erotica. He makes me wet, very wet indeed. If you haven’t already check out his blog.
I’ve talked in this blog about my panty fetish, at least twice before. Maybe more when I was dating the man who gave it to me. You might remember I called him The Comedian. I miss doing the panty teasing and panty play. So, I’m doing something about it.

It’s Auction time!

It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these. I’m raising money for a very important project. Help me reach my goal AND score the knickers I’m using in my next shoot!Burning Desire- The Thong I will also be shooting panty tease sessions over the next two weeks. I love knowing my panties are going to go to someone who will love them as much if not more than I did.
Bonus, if the winner of my panties mentions this blog, he’ll get a DVD of the tease sessions. How great is that?

Lately, I’ve had some fun on Skin Video
I’ll be doing Flash raffles with them. More on those next week kids!

Need a voice fix? Lola on Lulu Catch me there or simply check out the Trance Garden.

I’ve been neglecting my blog and my poor Niteflirt boys. I do feel bad but, I have got some Summer fun times planned. I live for Summer, even though I don’t particularly like the hot weather. I do love the sudden storms. Although I love October most!

I’m on a slut break. Ume and I are both very busy right now. He’s said I can date others but I’d rather not. In all honesty, I love him. You don’t walk away from that. Granted I’m not on my widow’s watch waiting alone for him but I’m still Ume’s girl. Plus my own “career” is heating up!! I’d much rather work on my projects and do something with my art.

I’m excited about recent developments. I’ve been going back to my punk roots and my witchy upbringing. I’ve been reading tarot during my days and I’m looking into branching out into more of a sexual/spiritual thing. It may not make sense to you right now but perhaps in the future. I feel more grounded. I’m walking my own path. Sexual witch, evil hypnotist. My path may not be traditional but, its really fun!

My family is full of witches and Shinto priestesses. That’s not exactly normal mind you but, I think my pornographic twist and spiritual spin art makes it my own!

Nothing about me is average. Not even in terms of BDSM, I’m a Princess but, I’m quirkier than most.
I guess.

I’m just me I don’t live up to norms and standards, that’s a lesson A LOT of submissives learn the hard way. I’m not here for money, I’m here to teach and train. Although I do love wishlist presents! Send one if you love me!

See you when the Harpy goes home!

First things first! I’m proud to announce, The Dirty Geisha Perfumery is now open!
My perfumes are natural and totally vegan! Best part? At $5 a bottle it won’t break the bank.
I have magical scents and flirty and sensual scents for all tastes and needs.

My first feature scent is Undefined Lust..

This one packs a one two love punch! A heady intoxicating perfume featuring Pumpkin and Chocolate and a little something for you herbal fans out there.

Undefined Lust

Now, on to things that are stupid and hateful. So, Ume has been MIA for about a week. Work has consumed his soul. This morning I actually had some time to stroll on the net when I get these.

(16:47:49 §) dave PRIVATELY whispers to .:[B]:.: surely you don’t think Ume is true to you……..he has numerous girls he talks with, tell them how they captivate him like no other
(16:48:06 §) dave PRIVATELY whispers to .:[B]:.: How he thinks about them often.

I of course ignore this “dave” fellow whom I’ve never met. He disappears after delivering them. I find these laughable because:

A. Ume and I are poly. We are allowed to play with others. I will return to him. He will return to me we have a bond that is different.

B. He hasn’t been around enough to be unfaithful. He would at least email me while being “untrue” this much I know.

C. I doubt he’d let me slip away.

There’s a million other reasons but those are the first ones that came to mind. To be honest, I think its his ex. Let’s be honest? Why would a guy care? I just don’t think its likely. That’s more of a girl thing, a normal girl thing. Perhaps Because I’m a geek, I just don’t do things like that.

I miss Ume so much I hope he’s able to come to me soon. I know work comes first, but I still miss him. Plus I’ve been so busy email has been piling up. I’ve got things things to tell Ume BUT I’m waiting til he’s on messenger it does make it easier. For stuff like that it’s better face to proverbial face. So he can laugh and quip with me.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Today, I had lunch with my fellow Sinister Sister. Well I ate she hugged me and vowed vengeance on Babykat. We also inducted a new member into our “gang” so the Sinister Sisters are now a sexy bad ass girl TRIO! Yup, we’re hotness incarnate. Watch out world. I occurs to me they need names. I’ll think of some and update my cast list.

I’ve been so lucky people have been loving on me. Simi and my mum have been so..nice. I really haven’t had female friends like ever. So, right now my Sinister Sisters ARE so important. Mum and Simi doubly so. I have my family-family.

Lately Ume has been so busy with work. Which is fine because I’ve been working my ass off on my print projects. I just miss him! His ex has been being so catty. Nothing I can’t deal with but it’s just a “high school” snot thing to do. I just ignore it.
Ume is worth waiting and cattiness. He’s worth an aching cunt and sore nipples too. I’m just missing talking to him. Miss sharing my stories and cuddles. I miss his voice, calling me Kitten. I hope to see him soon. My mouth aches to say his name.

I’ve launched a new site. I’m officially a Southern Charms girl. I hope Ume will give me some new set ideas. I’m doing an open call for requests. You lovely readers can suggest ideas too. I love new ideas and concepts, so challenge me. You know you want to.

Which apparently, I’m getting back into. I’ve no choice in the matter. After having not one but three impromptu performances thrust on me. Maybe it’s best to go in the direction I’m pushed?? It sure beats trying to swim upstream.

I’ve downed countless ume sake all bought by others. Properly lit of course. Upon consuming each I wonder if my Ume can feel my lips or my intoxication. I can certainly feel his fire kisses in my throat and my belly. When I’m really lonely and the club’s closing i’ll ask the bartender for a “Daddy kiss” none of them know what I mean one bartender actually kissed me!

I miss Ume and tonight’s Tantrum report will be probably be late but FULL of good news. I wrapping up some dealings and making plans, I might need to crawl into bed and orgasm myself to sleep before I can write Ume. He’ll understand i’m sure, he’s very understanding of his little tantrum.

Which bodes extremely well for me.

I’ve missed Babykat too. Sometimes it’s hard to make our schedules match up. Next week it should be better. I’m going to be mostly busy with writing which keeps me home. My sadist streak has been flaring up. I suspect a beating is in her future.

She’ll enjoy that, I’m sure.

Well, off to go make some major deals…

First off. Rest in Peace Peter Steele of Type O Negative. Your music inspired many an orgasm from this Geisha. Hopefully you are happier now. You’re missed.

I’ve been working my phone sex submissives very hard. It’s been great fun, I’m recording at least three new tracks at the very least. For those of you that want a non niteflirt option for buying my “sexy tracks” I give you Dollmouth Productions As usual my prices are affordable, and they’ll stay that way. I love doing recordings, it makes me feel more like a rockstar. Keep your eyes peeled for The Dirty Geisha “Raffle” I have awesome prizes.

Oh, and if you have an idea for a new MP3 comment here, please.

I hate to admit it but, sometime after high school I decided this: You only live once, Iʻd rather regret the things I had done then the things I hadnʻt. So, my life is spent mostly doing things I want to do. Yes, my submissive clients may not choose me because I have some Iʻm submissive too. But, fuck them. The ones that do choose me get an authentic BDSM experience from a real girl.
People may not like me because Iʻm poly. But, at least I can love fully and totally. Point is, I like my life and Amanda Palmer put it into better words then I could.

The blowjob queen part also applies to me. I have become more selective in whoʻs genitals I want in my mouth.
Also, I too like sharing my gift with the world. Hence my forays into professional smut peddling!

Umeʻs been away. This does make me miss him. But, absence does make the heart grow fonder. It means when he comes home to me, Iʻll be extra happy. This time has made me realize just how much Umeʻs got me on track. Before I was this force like water and yeah, people noticed me Iʻd worn away some pebbles. Under Umeʻs careful guidance Iʻm now flowing freely and mountains have no chance.

This is one of the reasons Ume is so my punkrockloveman. “darlin your Daddy is a punk rock kid, he grew up reading and making zines using recycled clip art and photocopy machines.” When I told him about my new zine project. Pushing Pixel. I love that he didnʻt blink. It stunned me and made fall just a little more.

It made me think about letting him inside of me. In a way that no one has been, not even Jak. You see, I have an erotic hypnosis fetish and, I want to be hypnotized. I want him to truly fine tune me as it were. I want to let him have that kind of control.

I want to literally hand him the key to my complete enslavement. Because, you see Iʻd have to teach Ume how to hypnotize me. Iʻd teach him how to press my biggest, reddest, button. I keep holding back telling him this. Iʻm fairly certain he would.

Then Iʻd listen.
Iʻd be Umeʻs doll.

For one split second I worried he would think I was “topping from the bottom” but I pushed send anyway. Why? Because, if he didnʻt need consoling or emotional support. He wouldnʻt have told me. In email you can lie, a fact my exes have taught me well. But, Ume never would.

Besides, I have become adept at tasting a lie. But, why would he ever in the first place? He doesnʻt. I can tell thatʻs just how he is.

But, back to the touching part…

He didnʻt have to tell me, Iʻm his long distance lover. But He did. He wants me there for him. So, I pondered the facts I had and sent off the hardest email to write. Mostly because, it might make him mad. However I hope he takes it as intended.

Advice.

I hope perhaps my eyes bring a fresh perspective and my words provide him solace. To me, thatʻs a submissiveʻs number one task. When you serve me, think about my needs, and cater to them.(Niteflirt boys, this means you, fucking buy me books and gadgets, spoil a Bitch!)

Iʻm falling for that Man, and itʻs breaking my heart someone is breaking his heart. I just want to help as best I can.