and a comment on this blog:
Jim
August 14th, 2010 at 8:30 am
Thanx 4 the book reccomendation. been reading yur stuff and it’s really good! can’t wait to hear the latest on the people in your life. wheres Ume? what happened with Pritkin? I hope evrything is cool wit u. your a hot, sexy chick.
I did just quit talking about him. In fact if you noticed I really ceased discussing anything personal. All I can do is hope this man will find his way home to me.
I didn’t want to cause him stress. So, I’ve been keeping quiet and working on my own stuff and dealing with my own family issues. I still very much love Ume. I find myself even in his absence very much loving him. But, we are apart nonetheless.
I am still lacie feels and I feel him like a ghost on my skin, like the air in my lungs. I could go on and on with the analogies, but it seems superfluous and just a little more than flashy.
Ume is my rain, and its been along dry summer. But, saying so constantly will not bring him back. I must wait, patiently and have faith in my Love. Doing less would make me like all those other girls I hate, so I keep my head up the best I can and try and weather it out.
Where ever he is, if he’s reading this.. i love you. i always will, even if i never see you.. Although, seeing you would be preferable.

Need a voice fix? Lola on Lulu Catch me there or simply check out the Trance Garden.

I’ve been neglecting my blog and my poor Niteflirt boys. I do feel bad but, I have got some Summer fun times planned. I live for Summer, even though I don’t particularly like the hot weather. I do love the sudden storms. Although I love October most!

I’m on a slut break. Ume and I are both very busy right now. He’s said I can date others but I’d rather not. In all honesty, I love him. You don’t walk away from that. Granted I’m not on my widow’s watch waiting alone for him but I’m still Ume’s girl. Plus my own “career” is heating up!! I’d much rather work on my projects and do something with my art.

I’m excited about recent developments. I’ve been going back to my punk roots and my witchy upbringing. I’ve been reading tarot during my days and I’m looking into branching out into more of a sexual/spiritual thing. It may not make sense to you right now but perhaps in the future. I feel more grounded. I’m walking my own path. Sexual witch, evil hypnotist. My path may not be traditional but, its really fun!

My family is full of witches and Shinto priestesses. That’s not exactly normal mind you but, I think my pornographic twist and spiritual spin art makes it my own!

Nothing about me is average. Not even in terms of BDSM, I’m a Princess but, I’m quirkier than most.
I guess.

I’m just me I don’t live up to norms and standards, that’s a lesson A LOT of submissives learn the hard way. I’m not here for money, I’m here to teach and train. Although I do love wishlist presents! Send one if you love me!

See you when the Harpy goes home!

First things first! I’m proud to announce, The Dirty Geisha Perfumery is now open!
My perfumes are natural and totally vegan! Best part? At $5 a bottle it won’t break the bank.
I have magical scents and flirty and sensual scents for all tastes and needs.

My first feature scent is Undefined Lust..

This one packs a one two love punch! A heady intoxicating perfume featuring Pumpkin and Chocolate and a little something for you herbal fans out there.

Undefined Lust

Now, on to things that are stupid and hateful. So, Ume has been MIA for about a week. Work has consumed his soul. This morning I actually had some time to stroll on the net when I get these.

(16:47:49 §) dave PRIVATELY whispers to .:[B]:.: surely you don’t think Ume is true to you……..he has numerous girls he talks with, tell them how they captivate him like no other
(16:48:06 §) dave PRIVATELY whispers to .:[B]:.: How he thinks about them often.

I of course ignore this “dave” fellow whom I’ve never met. He disappears after delivering them. I find these laughable because:

A. Ume and I are poly. We are allowed to play with others. I will return to him. He will return to me we have a bond that is different.

B. He hasn’t been around enough to be unfaithful. He would at least email me while being “untrue” this much I know.

C. I doubt he’d let me slip away.

There’s a million other reasons but those are the first ones that came to mind. To be honest, I think its his ex. Let’s be honest? Why would a guy care? I just don’t think its likely. That’s more of a girl thing, a normal girl thing. Perhaps Because I’m a geek, I just don’t do things like that.

I miss Ume so much I hope he’s able to come to me soon. I know work comes first, but I still miss him. Plus I’ve been so busy email has been piling up. I’ve got things things to tell Ume BUT I’m waiting til he’s on messenger it does make it easier. For stuff like that it’s better face to proverbial face. So he can laugh and quip with me.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Today, I had lunch with my fellow Sinister Sister. Well I ate she hugged me and vowed vengeance on Babykat. We also inducted a new member into our “gang” so the Sinister Sisters are now a sexy bad ass girl TRIO! Yup, we’re hotness incarnate. Watch out world. I occurs to me they need names. I’ll think of some and update my cast list.

I’ve been so lucky people have been loving on me. Simi and my mum have been so..nice. I really haven’t had female friends like ever. So, right now my Sinister Sisters ARE so important. Mum and Simi doubly so. I have my family-family.

Lately Ume has been so busy with work. Which is fine because I’ve been working my ass off on my print projects. I just miss him! His ex has been being so catty. Nothing I can’t deal with but it’s just a “high school” snot thing to do. I just ignore it.
Ume is worth waiting and cattiness. He’s worth an aching cunt and sore nipples too. I’m just missing talking to him. Miss sharing my stories and cuddles. I miss his voice, calling me Kitten. I hope to see him soon. My mouth aches to say his name.

I’ve launched a new site. I’m officially a Southern Charms girl. I hope Ume will give me some new set ideas. I’m doing an open call for requests. You lovely readers can suggest ideas too. I love new ideas and concepts, so challenge me. You know you want to.

Which apparently, I’m getting back into. I’ve no choice in the matter. After having not one but three impromptu performances thrust on me. Maybe it’s best to go in the direction I’m pushed?? It sure beats trying to swim upstream.

I’ve downed countless ume sake all bought by others. Properly lit of course. Upon consuming each I wonder if my Ume can feel my lips or my intoxication. I can certainly feel his fire kisses in my throat and my belly. When I’m really lonely and the club’s closing i’ll ask the bartender for a “Daddy kiss” none of them know what I mean one bartender actually kissed me!

I miss Ume and tonight’s Tantrum report will be probably be late but FULL of good news. I wrapping up some dealings and making plans, I might need to crawl into bed and orgasm myself to sleep before I can write Ume. He’ll understand i’m sure, he’s very understanding of his little tantrum.

Which bodes extremely well for me.

I’ve missed Babykat too. Sometimes it’s hard to make our schedules match up. Next week it should be better. I’m going to be mostly busy with writing which keeps me home. My sadist streak has been flaring up. I suspect a beating is in her future.

She’ll enjoy that, I’m sure.

Well, off to go make some major deals…

I hate to admit it but, sometime after high school I decided this: You only live once, Iʻd rather regret the things I had done then the things I hadnʻt. So, my life is spent mostly doing things I want to do. Yes, my submissive clients may not choose me because I have some Iʻm submissive too. But, fuck them. The ones that do choose me get an authentic BDSM experience from a real girl.
People may not like me because Iʻm poly. But, at least I can love fully and totally. Point is, I like my life and Amanda Palmer put it into better words then I could.

The blowjob queen part also applies to me. I have become more selective in whoʻs genitals I want in my mouth.
Also, I too like sharing my gift with the world. Hence my forays into professional smut peddling!

Umeʻs been away. This does make me miss him. But, absence does make the heart grow fonder. It means when he comes home to me, Iʻll be extra happy. This time has made me realize just how much Umeʻs got me on track. Before I was this force like water and yeah, people noticed me Iʻd worn away some pebbles. Under Umeʻs careful guidance Iʻm now flowing freely and mountains have no chance.

This is one of the reasons Ume is so my punkrockloveman. “darlin your Daddy is a punk rock kid, he grew up reading and making zines using recycled clip art and photocopy machines.” When I told him about my new zine project. Pushing Pixel. I love that he didnʻt blink. It stunned me and made fall just a little more.

It made me think about letting him inside of me. In a way that no one has been, not even Jak. You see, I have an erotic hypnosis fetish and, I want to be hypnotized. I want him to truly fine tune me as it were. I want to let him have that kind of control.

I want to literally hand him the key to my complete enslavement. Because, you see Iʻd have to teach Ume how to hypnotize me. Iʻd teach him how to press my biggest, reddest, button. I keep holding back telling him this. Iʻm fairly certain he would.

Then Iʻd listen.
Iʻd be Umeʻs doll.

For one split second I worried he would think I was “topping from the bottom” but I pushed send anyway. Why? Because, if he didnʻt need consoling or emotional support. He wouldnʻt have told me. In email you can lie, a fact my exes have taught me well. But, Ume never would.

Besides, I have become adept at tasting a lie. But, why would he ever in the first place? He doesnʻt. I can tell thatʻs just how he is.

But, back to the touching part…

He didnʻt have to tell me, Iʻm his long distance lover. But He did. He wants me there for him. So, I pondered the facts I had and sent off the hardest email to write. Mostly because, it might make him mad. However I hope he takes it as intended.

Advice.

I hope perhaps my eyes bring a fresh perspective and my words provide him solace. To me, thatʻs a submissiveʻs number one task. When you serve me, think about my needs, and cater to them.(Niteflirt boys, this means you, fucking buy me books and gadgets, spoil a Bitch!)

Iʻm falling for that Man, and itʻs breaking my heart someone is breaking his heart. I just want to help as best I can.

News
TDG.com now has a webcomic! Agent 9! She’s always forgetting to turn off her phone when she goes to one of her two jobs. You never where she’ll be kicking ass or taking phone sex calls. Check the comics section.Thank you to my illustrator and partner in crime Carys.

This weekend is a HUGE for me! Right now this website is the only place you can get my latest erotic hypnosis offering “Hypnosis in Wonderland”. It’s my most ambitious erotic hypnosis piece yet. At 14:14 (minutes:seconds)
Not my longest, but most likely my most decadent work (to date)

But, look for more later..

Lust

The weekends are hard for me. Ume is MIA. I told him something Friday that, shouldn’t affect us. But, might. He’s also been REALLY busy. I’m trying not to be needy (bad) but needy (good). I do need him, but I am strong! I am mighty, I am Batling.
(I *just* wish he’d remember to answer email. It’s nice to have things to read when he’s gone.) At a Friend’s advice long ago (like two-three months) sometimes you just have remind Doms They’re needed. You can do this without whining or demanding attention. So, TDG readers (of which I hope Ume is) you get. Two new stories and a photo post after this one!
I’m showing off, my very many charms. This week is the “Tantalize Mistah Ume week” Should be great fun.

I’ve also made a new friend the fabulous Ed Cantor of Mind Effing. Perhaps we can share some dreams and bleed some ink together. Who knows? I’m very fast becoming a fan of his work.

The weekend gets a C+

Next time on this Batling sex blog. Ume: he’s already torn a hole in my heart, i want him to tear a hole in my head.

After that, Jak and I still couldn’t get up and out.

Ume IMed from work. Even there, so far away. His energy crackled over my skin. I sat quietly talking with Ume about my overwhelming desire to have him. A small trinket to hold in my hands. We agreed, that he held in his hands. We want the same things. I melt. I’m telling myself he’s said we’re a couple why am I afraid to admit it to people?

Then it dawns on me. I’m afraid no sooner than I do that. He’ll have to leave me, he’ll set me free, to be fair he’ll say. Now that he’s pinky promised (a gesture I didn’t have to explain, bonus sexy appeal Mistah Ume.) I feel better.

Still, how to begin?

Anyway, Ume has to go, so I sigh and watch.

So, I ask Jak “What are we doing?” I say looking at the quickly darkening sky. He says nothing, I don’t even hear breathing. Fear sets in, what if he’s dead?

Then he stands up and I’m about ready to ask again. All of the sudden his lips are on mine. Jak never kisses. More aptly he never kisses like in romance novels. His hands are on my body and I’m trying to find his neck. His one sexual weakness.
It’s mine, target acquired, he’s moaning as I bite, lick, and kiss. His mouth sucks at my nipple, something he rarely does anymore. No longer fearful of the breast milk that once was produced. Moans and jerking unsure movements are all I’m capable of.

He grabs me to flip me on my belly.

“Babykat and Ume are watching.” He whispers in my ear hitting my pussy with his cock. I could see them there! Ume with a bemused smirk wearing a Brooks Brothers suit complete with a visible hard on. Babykat wearing just a tee shirt my dollar coin on her neck rubbing her pussy.

Then a miracle happens. Jak slips a finger into my pussy. Jak has finger fucked me maybe six times through out our five years. He’s always rough, you can tell he doesn’t know how. No girl ever explained how to I suppose. Two reasons why I don’t, I’m afraid if I stop and teach playtime will stop.

I’m a sick fuck the pain gets me off.

He’s finger fucking me while they watch is all I can think. Ume finally pulling out his cock, stroking it. He’s arranged this.I think. Did he? Did he tell Jak I was wet and needed sex?

Babykat’s fingering herself whimpering. I love watching her like this, denied cock so she just has to touch her own pussy, which I own, so she’s not cumming.

Jak’s fingers slide into my asshole. It hurts.Oh my god does it hurt. I’m trying to get away Jak’s holding me there. He forces me to orgasm. Painfully. Pain pushes me into it headlong, I’m yelling, I think. Jak’s up and off the bed before I’m done My now empty pussy is clenching and angry.

It ends with me ass up in the air, tears on my eyes. Rolling onto the mattress.

But, when I feel alone, my second stepdad’s words creep in and i start to feel the same fear he’d place in me. I start to feel fourteen again unsure of myself and wanting validation. I used to pray.

“Oh, wise and mighty Bast, make these things NOT true. Give me to will to go on and make them eat every unkind thing they’ve ever said.” and she did.

I printed out the nicest comments from my Blog’s guest book. I kept them by my bed. Until Stepdad2 found them and burned them as a “pack of lies”
I printed them out again, this time, i carried them in my bag in the secret back zipper pocket.

It feels good to have reminders. Today, I am better and stronger and mostly over it.

Ume has been a constant wellspring of support. I don’t doubt him, I take everything he says as truth. After all he really has no reason to lie to me. Really.
He loves my nerdity and my geekgasm and girly wood moments as much as he loves my screaming in orgasm moments. As I’ve said with him I’m a pretty whole.

I accept that. Even if that little stepdad2 voice kicks in.

A submissive, (me or you) can not truly be a good submissive unless they give themselves totally. This means two things (to me) examining why you want to be this person submissive in the first place. And accepting who you are, and be willing to ask your Master’s help and support in self improvement. Remember you have to want to improve for you, not your Owner.

So. If you’re thinking of paring up you should really be able to answer these questions. Feel free to use mine as guidepost not a guideline!

1. Why do I want to belong to Ume?
Simply put, He’s Ume. My Ume now that I’ve met him, i can’t imagine my life without him. I want to be his because he is kind and generous. He’s VERY Patient with me and always speaks in a loving tone. Even if i’ve made him mad or sad. I want to give him my rarest love, the thing which is growing inside my heart. I want to try to my very best not from a spiteful place anymore but, to make him proud of me. He sees me as Lola first. He respects me as a Dominant and sees me as a partner, who happens to be submissive to him.
I know he’ll nurture me. He won’t deprive me of anything, he likes me as I am. I like him as him. Plus he encourages the geekgasms in me.

I don’t have to hide anything, ever. That is why I wish to belong to Ume.

2. Things I accept about me.
I am a great and rare beast. I have a loving heart and a wicked mind. I’m a big breasted geek girl capable of some pretty big Codex (The Guild) moments, but I want help in being better at managing them. They are usually groundless fears because I’m getting to a place where I’m giving my heart, that’s scary. (I bet deep down, Ume’s scared just a bit.)
I have acknowledged it’s past trauma but its PAST. I am letting it go. Ume has done Nothing but support my tantrum-y little ass. I love him for that.