This is My Remedy

Or, How how I re-met The Doctor.

Three years ago or maybe more I belonged to The Doctor. I mean belong in the sense, I was his bitch. I loved him, I’m never sure if he loved me. Not that it doesn’t matter, it does. There’s hundreds of other “my Master loves me, and only me blogs” This is not one of those.

The Doctor is a bit of a Bastard. That’s why I love our relationship, like Lux & Jack (my fictional characters) he reminds me we will never be sweethearts. Though he has his moments of being my Boyfriend. Some years ago, I moved then he moved.
We exchanged a few hellos or goodbyes or he’d tell me I whine too much. A few weeks back he made me feel miserable. I had gone to Baltimore on college business, I have impossible money problems so I was staying with a friend of mine…

All was cool.

He however was not. My third night there, he got grabby. Which turned into rape. I got out of there as fast as I could. I spent the night in a Starbucks trying to figure out if my medicaid could work here. Going to the bathroom hoping the bleeding is a tear (it was, but since I gave birth in May I was scared, my former friend had ruined me for future use. ) I debate calling Trevor to come take me to his home. I decided against, he has too much to do. Then remember, Trevor is out of town.
Instead, I try to reach out to The Doctor, but I find myself too ashamed. I hint, and hint badly. The Doctor is cold and offers me no comfort.

I ponder if he ever cared.

A few weeks go by, and I’m sulking over coffee with I notice The Doctor. I slink over unsure of myself. He says I look like I could use a drink, to which I ruefully agree. We make small talk, and somehow I end up saying:
“Pain sluttery works for me.”
I sigh feeling him pull me away. mentally that link is still there. He whispers “I have a scalpel.” A thrill shoots through my cunt. I’m left biting my lip.
He growls a sexy threat of “I could just slit your wrists, watch you bleed out. I’m delightfully twisted like that.” He voice is crawling over my skin.
I can barely mange to speak. “I know you won’t.” I gasp trying to clear my own cloying thoughts. I whisper “But, I’d let you.”
I try to back up. To stop my aching pussy, but I fail at making small talk. However the reason and the revelation of this whole beta partner search and I say “My looking for a Dom is fruitless because I need them to be viscous…then pet me later…not just pet me.”

He presses closer to me “I could do so much more.” I feel his scalpel press into my flesh. My panties would be wet if I were wearing any. I can feel his hard on, and the blade I don’t know which thrills me more. At this point, I’m just along for the ride, my submissive side is out.

He nicks my mouth with his blade squeezing my lips with his fingers before kissing me. I press into him begging with my body.
I remember suddenly, at some point he asked me what I was looking for. It spills out of my lips.

“My over all fantasy is…to be owned so completely that my Master could ask for my life and i would let him hurt me until there was no more….but ideally he wouldn’t kill me because i would be such a good painslut…he would just…use me…but his favorite thing to do? cut his name into me…and when he was finished he’d cum on it..”

He laughs, taking the blade to my breasts.
“I’d never carve my name, but maybe something else.” He is smirking. I feel the blade bite into me. He is carving letters while my pussy floods. All over the back of my skirt. He is carving a “S-L-U-T” into my tender flesh. I have had a pure pain orgasm. Those are my favorite.
Suddenly I feel The Doctor against my pussy. My mind is racing, my pussy doesn’t even fight, it’s too slick as he’s already fucking me.

And that is how The Doctor and I made up.

Now, this is most likely “erotica” I however am keeping it as a sex file. That night, I climbed into bed after kissing my daughter goodnight. I dreamt of Trevor, I dreamt he watched the whole thing and spanked me for not giving anal.

I’m a bad kittyslut.

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