Moments. It’s funny how things can change, in the time it takes you to read this post even. Meeting Ume is one such moment. It’s me walking into a pub and somehow seeing him. It’s a beautiful thing. Rare like flipping a coin and getting tails every time.
I felt it even then, talking to him about of all things The Guild. It segued in to Doctor Who. It didn’t stop there. Let’s be clear I didn’t intend on this happening. I am however forever grateful it did.
Ume is extraordinary. He cares about me, I love that most about him. I actually love that we haven’t had sex. Still he has me enthralled. Most likely he could never have sex with me and I’d still follow him around.
The things he says are breathtaking. He said one thing that really got me. I mean it GOT me. For a second just one tiny second I actually thought he was just saying it. To make me feel better kind of thing. Then I felt this warmth coming from him. His energy caressing my skin.
“ I want to know you. Even if you decided that I no longer thrill you. I still want you in My life. I find you that interesting, sensual, and you bring a thrill to My life I’ve been missing. If you weren’t in that chair you would break Me.”
Standing in the rain he offered me his coat in that instant, I knew he meant it. I felt better. All the years of wondering are now ended and Ume, Babykat, and Jak have been the restorers of my self worth and the source of my happiness.
I’m now sleeping on him until he tells me to get off. I dream of licking his…heart. He can talk to me about Pritkin and Jak. He’s helped me to further understand the nature of my heart and the way I love. He doesn’t make me feel bad for loving with my whole heart.
Instead he prizes it.
I believe Ume prizes me.
I also have not forgotten Pritkin but, I must…breathe without him.
Yes, I love Pritkin still, that will never go away. I think Ume understands that once you REALLY love someone it never quite dies. Even if you want to swallow.
But, you can learn to love again.